Recently, while watching a college football team lose (they were unranked and playing a team ranked 5th in the nation), I jotted down 11 things I heard that could easily apply to anyone trying to change/win/quit sucking/wake up:
1. Eat some clock.
Because the higher-ranked team with the bigger players also had a huge hustle factor, the commentator said very early in the game that the underdog team needed to “Eat some clock.” They needed to find a way to slow things down. Control momentum more. Run down the time so that these west coast beasts couldn’t keep getting the ball. This advice applies to many people who are trying to change the way they eat. People ask me,
“What’s a good snack after dinner?”
Nothing. Eat some clock.
“What about fruit?”
No. Eat some clock. Feel the burn. You can’t burn fat if you keep eating. Go to bed.
The other use of “Eat some clock” is this: you need time…more than a week, more than six weeks, to see what a good habit can mean for you. One client told me that she’d keep trying “this” for awhile and then see. What is this? I’m not recommending a wacky cream, so when you say “this” you mean, “I’m going to try healthy eating for awhile and then I’m going to go back to eating crap and see how that feels.” I see.
You need time under your belt, not cookies.
2. It’s gut-check time for the ___________ (fill in your name or the name of your team).
It’s true. Taking care of yourself comes down to getting in-tune with your gut. So this could be literal. Realize that you’re not talking about “losing weight”. You mean to say that you don’t like your belly. That’s what people mean. ”Losing weight” is a phrase for magazines. You can just tell me the truth: you feel gross and it’s complicated. I get it. This could also be spiritual/mental — you have to be more intuitive when it comes to making daily decisions for yourself. Unless you’ve caught something, most deteriorating health is about unmanaged (or mismanaged) stress. You have to see how unmanaged stress is taking a toll on your health.
3. It’s time to install their power running game.
Again…you could get literal and log some miles. Go walking. Sign up for a race. Break a sweat. Move your bohaunkus. Or…from a “woo-woo” place, this advice is about how your dreaming (or lobbing balls into the end zone) is maybe too ambitious. It’s not working out. For instance, you’ve been daydreaming and TALKING about losing twenty pounds, but that’s all it is…TALK. You need to DO something good for yourself and the weight will take care of itself. You have to run this ball/dream/goal. Try to get the first down. The do, do, do…that’s all I have to say to you.
4. Boy, did they need that!
Something good happened for the losing team right before this comment. It was a good sign. Something positive to pump everyone up. That’s important. But it wasn’t a lucky break. It wasn’t the lottery. It was something they executed right because they’ve been practicing this stuff since they were in the third grade. What little break in the weather could you control this week? How’s your practice?
5. No flag on the play.
There’s no weight loss boss. There’s no sugar police. You may get nagged but surely you know how to ignore or work around that. You want to get buff? Go for it, but it will be up to you. You won’t get fired because you haven’t “done your abs” this week. I’ll say again: it’s up to you (because “nobody cares” is too harsh and not quite accurate). On the playing field, this means the commentator and definitely the fans caught something that the referees missed. Yep. It happens. Somebody got away with something. There aren’t really going to be flags on your “plays” unless you’re well down the line of lifestyle-induced disease.
6. Beautiful play fake!
You don’t need to over-explain what you’re working on to other people. While I think you need to be supported, I also think you can turn down dessert as if you don’t want it, not like you can’t have it. It makes the world of difference. Pretend you’re a really private person who barely eats sweets. Fake it. Change means identity change, so start that right away.
7. He’s gotta dial it in.
That crazy thing you’re doing. Knock it off.
8. This has got to be a blinding rhythm.
This goes back to the first comment. By this time of the game, the winning team was winning because they were so quick to get back in position. Pace was more integral than talent. There may be something you have to do (suggestions: start meditating or start saying no or stop watching so much tv and then telling me that you’re wicked busy all the time when the truth is that you are enjoying screen entertainment from 8pm and until midnight every night and then you wonder why you’re roaming around the kitchen looking for sweets…hear me now: YOU HAVE UNMANAGED STRESS AND YOU ARE WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE FULFILLING THEIR DREAMS ALL EVENING LONG — THAT TAKES A TOLL ON YOU AND IT’S ABOUT ALOT MORE THAN THE GLARE ON YOUR EYEBALLS). If you are in the middle of a blinding rhythm, figure out how to step outside it or slow it down.
9. Our sloppiness…we are beating ourselves.
I notice during halftime interviews that coaches (for the most part) are very into self-examination. What are we doing that isn’t working? We’ve got to blah, blah, blah. I don’t see them blaming others. They are all about using words like “responsibility”. Be honest with yourself. If doctors are supposed to do no harm, then we are supposed to do no self-harm. That crazy thing you’re doing. Knock it off.
10. He has struggled with his accuracy.
That candy bowl at work will interfere with your accuracy. Snacking will interfere with your accuracy. Eating out of the box will interfere with your accuracy. Having a magically-refilling wine glass will mess with your accuracy.
11. His coaches will tell him. You gotta do the smart thing.
I bet your breakfast and lunch don’t need a makeover. I direct you to look at the hours between 4pm and 12am and get back to me. I know people. I know me. I know where the damage is done. It gets ugly between those hours. It’s not the dressing on your grilled chicken salad.
If we were practicing this afternoon, we’d only talk a little. We’d practice more. I’d try to pump you up. Get you motivated. Draw up a game plan. Fuss at you because that’s what coaches do. I hope one piece of sideline commentary or sports psychology speaks to you and helps you this week.